Travel & Leisure

Travel Special: Strengthen Your Relationships

Here's a real-world guide to creating the perfect getaway, no matter how much you have to get away from. PLUS: 21 adventures that will change your relationships—and your life

Noah Jeffries thought he had it all figured out, until he found himself in a hotel room in Europe, begging for his life. But plead as he might, the woman blackmailing him--his wife--wasn't going to give him a break.

"She stole my BlackBerry," Jeffries recalls today. "She locked it in the hotel-room safe. And she wouldn't give me the combination until the day we left."

At 42, the media executive thought he was doing a good job of juggling the career, the kids, the missus, and all the unforeseen oddities of success. His wife, Margaret, had a different opinion. "I just wanted him to relax. And not be distracted. And to pay attention to me," she says. What was supposed to be a romantic four-day holiday to recharge their marriage turned into a hostage situation, with Jeffries' e-mail on lockdown.

Vacations can be terrifying for successful guys, and the soul-­sucking demands of the 24-7 work world can turn a lot of powerful, commanding men into weasels. We try to do right by everyone--wife, kids, employees, bosses--and wind up as the eye of a storm of frustration. No wonder 39 percent of men don't take all the vacation time they've earned. At the same time, we know that nothing brings a man and woman closer than an adventure together. So to help you seduce the woman in your life all over again, we've consulted dozens of experts in world travel and created a different sort of itinerary--one focused on helping you relax and enjoy not only your next getaway but also the woman or the family you're getting away with.

Set expectations. Before planning anything, discuss what you want to get from your vacation, what she wants, and what you both want for the kids (if you have any). "Couples have assumptions about planning, and that's when the first mistakes happen," says relationship expert Jessica Weiner, author of Life Doesn't Begin Five Pounds From Now.

Plan your "spontaneous getaway." Women like the idea of an off-the-cuff escape, but they are generally more risk-averse travel planners than men are, according to a study in the Annals of Tourism Research. Now that you know your partner's expectations, follow through by secretly planning activities that will satisfy her needs, advises Weiner.

Improve your chances of an upgrade. "Flights are generally less full on Saturdays and Tuesdays," says Pamela Lassers, a seven-year veteran with luxury-travel operator Abercrombie & Kent. "So you're more likely to get an upgrade on those days."