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When John Mayer finds a wife, he’ll finally be able to take it easy.
Lots of things will change. For one, the gossip-hound paparazzi knuckleheads won’t bother him as much as they do now. Just recently, this is what happened: He was leaving a New York City restaurant, his then-girlfriend and
Friday Night Lights star Minka Kelly on his arm, when the paparazzi swarmed. “How you doin’, John?” this one video guy asks, all friendly. And then… “Was Cameron Diaz’s body a wonderland?” Normally, Mayer wouldn’t respond. But, really, this was too much. “Do you see that I’m with a woman?” he asked the guy. “Do you see that I had dinner with a woman and you’re asking me about another.…Man, that’s terrible!”
“When I get married, all that stuff will be null and void,” he says.
Married guys have other problems, naturally, but Mayer is positive he won’t have many of those. Let’s say he has to go to work. Right now, he’s 30 years old. He has been a heartthrob singer, songwriter, and guitar player for only the past seven years, but what he has accomplished during that time is remarkable: three major-label hit albums, including
Room for Squares, his first, and
Continuum, his latest, as well as nine top-10 hit singles, including “No Such Thing,” his first, and “Say,” his latest. He has won five Grammys. He has played onstage with the great B.B. King and recorded with everyone from Kanye West to the Dixie Chicks. He has called a Porsche dealer in New York from Eric Clapton’s estate in England and, sight unseen, bought a $134,000 Turbo S, just because it was the rock-star thing to do. He has been named a
Time magazine top 100 influential person. In addition to Diaz and Kelly, he has gone out with Jennifer Love Hewitt and, most tumultuously, Jessica Simpson. He writes a monthly column about anything that interests him and maintains his own blog. Most recently, he has decided he wants to be a stand-up comic and has gone onstage in pursuit of yuks. In other words, anything he has wanted to do, he has done, and he wants to do lots more.
But what about his future wife? Will his future wife bitch and moan about it and tell him, for instance, that he can’t go on tour this year, because she has other plans and what about
her plans for a change? She will not. She will be incredibly happy for him. She will say, “I understand.” And she will say, “No complaints.”
