Sex & Relationships

Here, five business-based strategies that will improve your marriage.

Given the near collapse of the wall between work and family, the ­suggestion that you should bring more office into your marriage would seem to defy common sense. And we’d never recommend taking the BlackBerry to the dinner table. But you can call on the same skills that put you on the partner track at work and adapt them to make yourself a better domestic partner. Here, five business-based strategies that will improve your marriage. — Chris Connolly

See both sides. Think about the last fight you had with your wife. Now ask yourself: If she were a client, would I have acted that way? Men often treat business contacts with more temperance than they do their loved ones. “When people get emotional, they lose their ability to see other points of view,” says Emily Nagoski, PhD, a sex researcher at Indiana University. “If you act as if your perspective is more ‘right’ than hers, you’ll never find a solution.”

Tend your in-box. Even if you love your job, there are bound to be tasks that annoy you, such as filing or chasing down invoices. Well, your relationship has paperwork-equivalent elements too: watching romantic comedies, having relationship chats, taking partners yoga. But at home, there’s no HR stickler making sure you’re up-to-date. So next time you pass on date night to watch a play-off game, remember this: That date was just added to the growing stack of date nights on your metaphorical desk. Don’t let ’em pile up. Just two hours a week can rescuscitate your relationship.

Be punctual. When the boss or a client asks you to do something by a certain date, you do it, right? Treat your spouse’s requests with the same alacrity. “You can make your life much easier if you follow through on your promises,” says Nagoski. Get creative, too. Anyone can be punctual to a reservation at a fancy restaurant, but dining at a secret supper club is by appointment only.

Set goals. At the office, success is measured in quantifiable terms such as earning a certain amount of money or booking a certain number of clients. By setting goals with your wife—“Let’s save enough to buy a cabin in two years”—you will create a sense of teamwork in your relationship and enjoy the feeling of making progress together. Here's how one businessman and his wife turned a backwoods cabin into their dream escape.

Pay bonuses. In the work world, bonuses and gifts are commonly distributed to reward accomplishments. This practice can be easily co-opted for personal use. “Appreciation is quite possibly the single most important thing a man can give a woman,” says Nagoski. “A woman’s sense of accomplishment is only complete when the people she cares about acknowledge her success.” If there are no day spas or lingerie boutiques on your speed-dial list, add them. Just don’t call it a “bonus.” Speaking of bonuses, use these three steps to maximize your holiday bonus.

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