Sex & Relationships

Four reasons why poker night might save your career, your marriage, and your life

Next time you feel happily married and successful at work yet still a bit empty, go ahead and grab that beer with the guys after work or call a buddy for an impromptu game of paddle tennis at the club. Experts agree that more male-bonding time might actually help you live a longer, healthier life.

Friends Help You Recover Faster
Men who have someone to support them after being injured might actually heal faster, says Redford Williams, M.D., director of the Behavioral Medicine Research Center at Duke University. After studying more than 2,000 patients recovering from heart surgery, Dr. Williams found that those with someone to confide in were three times more likely to live over a five-year period. “A good definition of a friend is someone you call up and talk to when you don’t have anything to say,” says Dr. Williams. “Men who have good male friends like that are going to be more resilient, more immune to the effects of stress on their health over the years.”

Friends Keep Your Heart Healthier
Having guy-time on a regular basis could decrease your risk for coronary heart disease, according to a review coauthored by James Blumenthal, Ph.D., a professor of medical psychology at Duke University. Blumenthal notes that low social support can almost double your susceptibility to the illness. “I would put guys’ night into the context of social support or having people to confide in,” says Blumenthal. “The health benefits could be due to the buffering effect of social support on cardiovascular-stress responses.”

Friends Help You Take Control of Your Future
Male friends affirm your masculine self-image, a key to high self-esteem, says Chloe E. Bird, Ph.D., a senior sociologist with the RAND Corporation and coauthor of the book Gender and Health: The Effects of Constrained Choice and Social Policies, which will be released later this year. “It’s entirely possible that part of your identity would be related to who you are among men, so it could be a place for positive reinforcement and building on good memories,” says Bird.

Friends Help You Beat Stress
In a tight crew, you can discuss openly the stresses of bread­winning, fathering, and if, uh, you need to get that checked out, says Jean Bonhomme, M.D., cofounder and president of the National Black Men’s Health Network. “There are a lot of psychological benefits to being around someone who understands you and has experiences in common with you,” says Dr. Bonhomme. “You are getting information relevant to your own life.” Dr. Bonhomme counsels guys to listen to their feelings to help decide when to hang out. “It’s like how often should you have sex? Some people want it constantly, others not as often.”