Health & Fitness

Can I Buy My Wife a New Va-jay-jay?

Designer vaginoplasties for moms are touted as the brave frontier of plastic surgery, but as the best-selling authors of Why Do Men Have Nipples? explore, this Mother's Day gift comes wrapped in risk

To: questions@drbillyandleyner.com

Dear Dr. Billy,

I would like to formally request your participation and guidance in a new health-care-related business venture. My team and I have put together a business plan and feel that our customer strategy and market analysis could revolutionize a niche opportunity in the medical industry. I was hoping to have one of my associates set up a time for a quick and focused presentation. Thank you.
Mark Leyner, Hoboken, New Jersey

Well, this took me by surprise—a question from Leyner? I couldn't understand why on earth Leyner would send me an e-mail. We share an office and see each other every day. I also was taken aback by the business tone of his request. "My team?" "One of my associates?" That's not Leyner!

So I hurried off to the studio to see what had happened to my friend and writing partner. When I walked in, I saw our office had been drastically changed. Leyner had refashioned the studio into an improvisational approximation of an infomercial set. There was a small stage with a lectern, a studio audience (a motley assortment of men who appeared to have been lured in from the street with offers of Budweiser and hot dogs), and a cameraman (a guy in a filthy white T-shirt, desert-camouflage cargo pants, orange and blue wristbands, and a New York Knicks do-rag) wielding a high-def video camera. Leyner prowled the stage.

Leyner: How many of you bought your lovely wives gifts for Mother's Day last year?

A unanimous display of pumped fists were thrust into the air.