Fatherhood

Yankee Doodle Daddy

One man's plan for raising patriotic kids

By: Hugh O'Neill
[ Updated: Jul 14, 2008 - 5:12:21 PM ]

The 4th of July is a good time to talk about parenthood and patriotism, or more specifically, to share my sure-fire secrets for raising great Americans. Yeah, I know, I've made a lot of mistakes as a father. But can't we just accentuate the positive for now? There is one thing I've done spectacularly right. I've given my kids the United States of America, which is, my countrymen, no small gift.

Talking to kids about patriotism is tricky, especially if you're a white man who has had every opportunity our republic affords. If you've had some grace shed on thee, it's easy to sound like a guy who's mistaken his own good fortune for a society as generous as the one we'd planned. But I've figured out how to make the kids love their country.

The O'Neill Plan for Raising Patriots proceeds from the following mission statement: to find a deep patriotism, a belief in our country that both accepts our blunders and still savors the durable importance of the enterprise.

The O'Neill Plan seeks a compromise between the red meat of "My country right or wrong" and the tofu of "We're just another nation-state run by plutocrats." Neither makes sense. It's as foolish to support our country no matter what, as it is to believe there is nothing singular about us.

The O'Neill Plan proceeds from two rules. First, save the bad stuff -- the genocide which gave us birth, the slavery that helped us grow -- until middle school. There's plenty of time for looking into dark corners then. And second, sell the stage, not the show. If you try to explain particular events not only will the kids' lose consciousness ("Hey, kids, the Viet Cong were either a proto-populist anti-colonialist liberation army or ?.") but, more important, sometimes the plain facts don't always endorse our team.

So, instead, just give them a sense of our geography, of all the space out there where they might do something, anything, everything. Kids need a sense of possibility as much as they need mother's milk, and the sea-to-shining-seaness f this country is a huge empowering promise.


Step One:
When the kids are very small, buyt them one of those wooden USA jigsaw puzzles, in which they will, I promise, have absolutely zero interest. Doesn't matter.