Marriage

My eyes have started to wander. How can I avoid scratching the itch?

Don't beat yourself up over a few wayward glances—it's okay to look. The best way to prevent the rest of your body from following suit, however, is to rekindle a sense of novelty in your relationship. Here's how:

Start the action outside the bedroom. Having sex in new places makes it unlikely that you'll follow old patterns.

Watch porn with her. Many women like it. In fact, 40 percent of those in a recent Stanford University study admitted to watching it when they were alone. And most of them reached peak arousal within minutes of hitting Play.

Kiss for 30 seconds, twice a day. Lip locking is the first to go when desire wanes. Reintroducing it will reestablish an emotional connection between you.

Consider the consequences too. Infidelity isn't what's most damaging to a relationship, keeping it a secret is. If you hide things from your wife, your marriage will become adversarial and you'll think about changing the cast of characters. Is that worth the scratch?

Frank Pittman, M.D. Dr. Pittman is the author of Private Lies: Infidelity and the Betrayal of Intimacy .

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