Marriage

Ask the Sex Coach

My wife wants to experiment with role-playing. Is there a way to try it without feeling like a cheesy porn star? It's normal to feel discomfort when trying something new, but fantasy is a fun, exciting, and even essential component to a healthy sex life. Start by asking your wife about her fantasies, and then go shopping together to buy the necessary props and outfits. The important thing here is to have fun. And who knows, the cheesy porn star may not be such a bad thing after all.

I've taken Viagra on and off, but now I can't perform without it. Is there a risk of psychological addiction? If you're fretting about it too much, then yes. The anxiety of worrying about getting an erection will make it difficult, if not impossible, to get one. Taking Viagra can give you a boost of confidence because it alleviates the concern of not being able to perform, but it exacerbates the problem when you think you can't get hard without it. Start rebuilding your confidence by going solo. Relax and focus on your pleasure instead of the firmness of your penis, and soon your sexual confidence will be as strong as your erections.

Lori Buckley, PsyD, is a psychologist and sex therapist. Can Lori help you? Submit questions to sexcoach@rodale.com .

Want the best advice for your most pressing concerns?

Write to bestadvice@rodale.com

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